Evil Dead (2013)

Ok... well, to start with: I can't remember if I've ever seen the original Evil Dead all the way through. This particular film series is one that I watched on TV at 3 a.m. when I was a teenager and don't remember a lot about. I can say with confidence, though, that this new one is great. So much blood! There are some cringe-worthy and somewhat disgusting moments (a word of warning to the squeamish) and some creepy scenes that almost had me freaked out (and we all know that nothing scares me anymore, what with the years of horror film viewing having had the usual desensitizing effect on me). I wasn't expecting much, since I didn't remember much about the original and am not a big fan of demonic-possession films, but this one is done right (there's a reason it's a classic). I was sucked in and held on until the end, and the final blood-soaked (literally) showdown was one of the best I've seen recently. Possible spoiler: if you stick around past the credits you get to see Ash (Bruce Campbell) for all of three seconds. It's worth it though, I suppose. On a side note, Bruce Campbell, Tony Todd, and Robert Englund are all in the same club: they make a living doing cameo appearances in horror films, strictly for the "Hey it's Bruce Campbell/Tony Todd/Robert Englund" effect. I have heard grumbles that there is no Ash character in this one, but I can understand why they went with new characters: who would they have found to play the new Ash, since Bruce Campbell is considerably older than the characters in this film are? And anyone new would have just disappointed the die-hard fans, no matter how good they were.

So is it as good as the original? Maybe, maybe not, but I don't think that's the point. I think you can enjoy both films equally, the original for the nostalgia and every reason you loved it when you first saw it, and this new one because it does everything right. See it! It's a fun ride, regardless of how you feel about the idea of remaking cult classics.

Autopsy (2008)

This movie feels like an episode of The Twilight Zone at times, but it has one of the best lines I've heard in a horror film lately. One guy asks for some antibiotics because a guy bled in his mouth (after an automobile accident) and the creepy nurse guy says, "Did you ask him to?" Awesome.

Oh, and Robert Patrick is in it. Yes, the T-1000. Also awesome.

This is, all in all, a sufficiently creepy little hospital horror movie. Weird things happen, the workers at the hospital are suspicious characters that make you wonder what's going on even as you realize that you don't want to know, and the mystery of exactly what the heck is going on is enough to keep you watching. There are a lot of horror movies set in hospitals, but most of them are straight ghost stories; this one is different and has a bit of mystery (which I think most horror movies could use more of, instead of just getting in your face with obvious situations and tired endings that you see coming a mile away). And one final tip? If you're taken to a hospital in the middle of the night and your friends start disappearing, you should run. Especially if you see the T-1000.