10 Cloverfield Lane

I would like to say that first, there are no spoilers in this review. Second, Mary Elizabeth Winstead kicks ass. She is an awesome horror/action movie heroine, and not really one you'd expect from looking at her.

She was in my favorite Final Destination movie (#3) and the remake of The Thing, where she also kicked ass. In 10 Cloverfield Lane, she starts off by leaving her fiancé for reasons that aren't really explained and ends up being run off the road by an unseen vehicle. When she wakes up she is locked in a room with her leg handcuffed to a pipe in typical horror movie fashion. This is a pretty basic beginning, but once John Goodman shows up it's obvious this is not going where you think it is.

Without giving anything away they, along with Emmett (the other guy who is either lucky enough to be in the bunker with them or is just another victim of Goodman but I'm not telling which it is of course) are stuck in the bunker for the better part of the film. It really becomes an engrossing psychological thriller, as you try to figure out if Goodman is just a conspiracy nut or if there really is something outside the bunker to be afraid of. The clues are all there, but they are clues for both possible outcomes and I was never absolutely certain which ending I should expect. Are there aliens or Russians out there waiting to get them, like Goodman insists as he holds them captive and dictates their every move? Or is he making it up to keep Winstead and her buddy Emmett with him?

There has been some complaining about the ending, but I thought it was perfect. It was pretty much what I expected, and I had tried to avoid all spoilers so I wouldn't really know what was going on. I thought it was exciting and scary and well done, and was a logical conclusion to everything else this woman had been through up to that point. Like I always say, it's nice to see a horror movie heroine who doesn't just scream and run around like an idiot. She is scared and unsure but she gets it done. She fights when she needs to and doesn't back down when most people in these kinds of movies would.

As for how this movie links to the first Cloverfield, that's a little hard to explain without spoiling anything. This was enjoyable from beginning to end, and I have to say I have never been more afraid of John Goodman in my life.   

I highly recommend this one, and suggest you see it before you know too much about it.

The Intruders (2015)

Ok, having seen this same ending several times just this year, I'm going to either have to give up and stop watching horror movies, or just resign myself to the Volcano/Dante's Peak effect. Movie ideas really do seem to come in twos or threes like babies, but this ending has been done four times in the last couple years. Twice is forgivable, but four times?

Anyway, I almost didn't watch this one because I made the mistake of reading online reviews and thought I knew how it ended. Then I saw a preview and realized that Donal Logue was in it so I decided to give it a go. He's always good, even in stuff like this that doesn't deserve him. It also turned out that the ending I thought I would see is not the one I got.

It's an ok little mystery, not scary and really geared more toward a younger crowd; the main girl is Miranda Cosgrove, who's ok but not very interesting. We have the obligatory "the main character's mother died recently and said character is on medication so may not be in control of all her faculties" plot device, which will allow us to wonder for the rest of the movie if she is just paranoid/crazy/whatever. The "is she crazy" thing is really overdone and I personally don't like the excuse that they're "just crazy" in any genre of movie. I think a real motive is more interesting. But that's just me. So then she starts seeing and hearing weird things in the house and begins to suspect that the neighbor across the street (played by Tom Sizemore - I know, what?!) was involved in the disappearance of the girl we saw at the very beginning of the film, being murdered in some kind of basement. Main girl makes accusations, gets depressed that no one believes her, does some Scooby Doo investigating and after an hour and twenty minutes of all this wandering around the house and refusing to take her meds, she uncovers the real truth - no spoilers here, but like I said, it is the same ending as at least three other horror films that I'm not going to name. The first time I saw this ending, it fit the movie and wasn't made out to be a big deal. It wasn't a let down because it was original - I hadn't seen it yet so didn't give it much thought. That movie was also really creepy and well done, so even if I didn't like the twist I would have forgiven it. How much you enjoy the movie has to outweigh how clever the ending is because otherwise we would all just fast forward to the last five minutes, right? The next time I saw this ending the whole movie was a blast and I vaguely thought of the first movie with the same twist but they were such different types of horror (one a serious and creepy thriller and the other more of a horror comedy) that it didn't bother me. The third time, it was a let down. Why? Because it sort of made the rest of the movie not make sense. I found an explanation online and felt a little better about it, but when that movie ended, I just sat there thinking that it didn't make sense. Why had all those things happened? Fortunately, the fourth time it feels old and tired but at least it doesn't negate anything that happens before it and makes sense in a way. So I'm ok with it, though I am getting tired of seeing the same things in five different movies. But you know what they say, there's nothing new...

In any case, I'm not really recommending it because the whole thing is a little too slow and boring, and by the time you get to the big reveal you probably won't care anymore. But it's certainly not the most offensive horror movie I've seen lately - please see my review of Suspension (2015) for the winner of that title.

Suspension (2015)

This is one of the 8 Films to Die For, and I usually am pretty forgiving of these films. I've liked most of them, and others that I didn't care for I just shrugged and went on my way. This movie, however, really got on my nerves because it doesn't even try to be original. Horror movies are traditionally overrun with clichés and tropes, and we expect that. But when a film flat out steals every scene and idea contained within it from basically every popular movie that has come before it, I get irritated.

Have you ever seen a horror movie before? Like, any horror movie ever? See if you can pick out the stolen plot devices and twists:

Emily is a high school girl with a traumatic past who is picked on by the kids at school, and after the mean girls dunk her in a toilet and video tape it, you kind of hope that they'll be the first victims of the killing spree you expect to start at any moment. But no, that comes later. Much later. But first, let's watch Emily hang out with her little brother (whose mother doesn't even say goodbye to him when she leaves for work; seems cold right?) and draw her gruesome comic book featuring the story of an escaped serial killer who takes out everyone at a house and nearby farm for no apparent reason. The lighting is different during these scenes, so you always know which scenes are her story and which are really happening, but this takes up a good chunk of the movie and is kind of pointless in the end. Anyway, that's all well and good but then the kids from school show up and the killer goes to work in real life... or does he?

I won't spoil the ending, but I literally had it figured out in the first seven minutes. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, hoping I was wrong and there was something, anything, more creative coming. But no, that's it. The main problem I have with this is not just that the ending isn't good; it's that the whole movie is not very interesting and is just a set up for the twist. It's not fun to watch in the meantime, and that makes it a waste. I'm not even going to bother telling you the rest of my complaints about this movie. Just know going in that you have probably seen this ending at least three times this year, if you watch as many horror movies as I do. Don't get me started on how the genre needs to stop doing the same things over and over. You can talk about tropes and homages and nods but for the most part it's just about a lack of creativity. I can't recommend this one, but as always I encourage you to make up your own mind... just don't waste your time hoping for an original outcome.

The Boy

Ah, the creepy doll movie. Dolls do creep me out, don't know how I ever had any as a child. Probably because I didn't watch any creepy doll movies. But I digress...

So this one has an American woman coming to a mansion in England to work as a nanny to the child of an older British couple. Of course, the child is not a child but a doll. And it is creepy. There's no other word for it. The fact that it looks alive at times and just stares blankly (and at one point seems to move around the house of its own free will) makes it scary all by itself, before any other weird stuff starts happening.

The main girl is of course on the run from a painful past and that's why she came all the way across the pond to baby-sit a doll. Honestly, I'm not sure what purpose this whole side story served, other than giving her a reason to go so far to take a job as a nanny, which doesn't seem to be her chosen profession. Anyway, once you get past these questions, you are faced with a bunch more like: why does the doll need a baby-sitter to begin with, why does she have to blast eerie music through the house to keep said doll happy, why does she have to give it lessons and read to it, etc. And what happens if she doesn't do these things?

Well, like any sane, unsupervised employee would do, she stops following all these rules and throws the doll in its room and goes about her business while the doll's "parents" are out of town on their first vacation in years. Of course, then strange things begin to happen and she can't explain any of it, not even with the help of the local grocer, who is suitably cute and charming, though he thinks she has gone off the deep end when she suggests the doll has a mind of its own.

Then comes the twist. It's not an anger-inducing twist - I tend to get annoyed with a lot of the twists in these movies, either because they've been done to death or because they make no sense. This twist falls into the latter category, even though it didn't make me angry. It made me wonder a few things, though. I can't say the questions that stuck with me because it will ruin the ending for you, but after watching it you will probably ask the same ones. It kind of negates a lot of what went before, and leaves you bewildered at the motivations of some of the characters. Oh and I saw the same ending in two other horror movies in the last couple years. But again, no spoilers.

Overall, I recommend The Boy for its spooky atmosphere, interesting set-up and creepiness. Just don't be too disappointed by the ending; it works in most ways, I just felt it was not explained very well.

Visions

I was surprised by this one. First, I've never heard of it and it has several names in it - Isla Fisher, Jim Parsons, Eva Longoria (who I didn't recognize until she spoke). It's a solid ghost story with a twist that I almost had figured out - but not quite.

Isla Fisher's character and her husband have just moved to a vineyard and are expecting their first child. She was in a car accident the year before - which is always a red flag for idiotic "she was in a coma the whole time and dreamed it" twist. But wait, it gets better.

So they settle in and she makes a new friend at mommy yoga, but soon she begins having hallucinations and thinking she's losing her mind. Her husband and doctor want to put her on anti-depressants, but she thinks the hallucinations are ghosts that inhabit the house. She soon finds out that the previous owner had similar experiences in the house and that does not help her paranoia. It's a good mystery, which I always enjoy.

The twist is not what you expect, and it was well done. I kept going back and forth between thinking that the husband was gaslighting her (see the movie Gaslight for a complete description of this) and waiting for some lame "it was all a dream because she's in a coma" twist. I'm not giving the twist away but the way it all plays out is different from the other tired horror movie endings I've seen in recent years, and didn't make me want to throw stuff at the screen. So that's always good.

I do recommend this one: it has mystery, suspense, some creepy scenes (pay attention during these and maybe you'll guess the twist earlier than I did) and a good, believable ending.

A Christmas Horror Story

Ah, the holiday season. A time for happy little movies full of holiday cheer. Or you can watch A Christmas Horror Story, a horror anthology complete with zombie elves and Krampus. All of a sudden, we have three movies about Krampus, and honestly, I don't remember hearing of him before. But maybe I just don't pay enough attention. I have not seen the other two movies featuring Krampus, but in this one he is rather frightening and the battle between him and Santa is pretty awesome, if somewhat brief.

This is similar to Trick 'R Treat, the Halloween horror anthology, and runs in the same way: as an anthology that is cut into separate segments that jump around a bit. Going back and forth builds the suspense in each story, which helps in the clichéd "kids go ghost hunting in an abandoned asylum" one. It is not terrible but not all that great either, with a predictable plot and resolution. The segment with the little boy possessed by a demon isn't much better but I enjoyed it, and the family running around in the woods trying to get away from Krampus is probably the second best.

The storyline that everyone seems to agree is the best, the Santa vs. zombie elves and Krampus, is fun. The fun is, as I mentioned, short-lived but great while it lasts. There is also a twist that I felt was unnecessary. There are hints to it but you have to really be paying attention and while I did have that feeling of wait, what am I missing, it is not at all obvious. The twist didn't make me angry, as they often do, but it just felt tacked on. Anyway, it all ties together fine and makes for enjoyable holiday viewing. There just aren't many Christmas-themed horror movies (aside from the much darker and more violent Black Christmas and the ridiculously fun Santa's Slay) and if you're in the mood for some horror with your Santa fix this holiday season, I do recommend this one. William Shatner is also in this, if that helps sway your decision. He spends all his scenes in a room doing a radio show by himself but he's pretty good and also ties in with the other stories, No spoilers here, though, so you'll have to watch it to find out how.

Last Shift

It's a rookie cop's first night on the job, and she is given the unfortunate task of babysitting a police station that is closing the next day. All of the other cops are at the new station a little ways away, and all calls are supposed to be routed to the new station. But of course, on a night like this one, all hell is going to break loose and at least a couple calls make it through. The repeated calls from a girl needing help, however, are not what they seem and this night only gets worse as it goes on.

What I liked about this movie, first of all, is the main woman. She is young and inexperienced but doesn't show any fear or shrink away from anything, from the homeless guy who wanders into the station to the weird, singing people who come and go all night. I liked her pluck and fearlessness, a refreshing change from the screaming, half naked young women you usually see in horror movies. They make us all look bad, while this cop stays calm and gets it done.

So we have the usual weird happenings and general strangeness, and the empty police station gives a real sense of isolation and panic. I have to admit, my heart was pumping a little harder while watching this. There are some great scenes in the dark, and several creepy moments. I'm not going to lie, I was watching this all alone and actually had to turn it off and finish it the next day.

As for the ending, some are calling it a twist but it's really not and I thought it was a little bit of a letdown after how good the rest of the movie was. It didn't make me angry (if you've read my other reviews you know I get a little worked up about crappy movie endings) but I felt that this main character deserved a better ending after how admirably she survived the whole thing. Maybe that's just me. Either way, I recommend it for a few thrills and a kick-ass main character who isn't afraid of the dark or a few crazy cult members.

Insidious

I don't know how I've gone this long without writing a review of this movie. Horror movies in recent years have mostly disappointed me, but this one is creepy and interesting enough to rate it as one of the best of the last few years. A family torn apart by their son's strange affliction (a coma-like sleep that is actually astral projection) seeks help from some paranormal investigators, including Lin Shaye (who is great in these movies) and Leigh Whannell (who should be in more movies; I've liked him since Saw, even though he was kind of whiny in that). Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne play the parents of the boy who are freaked out and willing to do anything to help their son.

Why did I love this movie? This is the first movie in a very long time that actually creeped me out. Like, had to sleep with the lights on creeped out. The spirits in the other world (the one Patrick Wilson must venture into in order to save his son) are so creepy and smiley that I was glad I didn't watch it alone. With an interesting plot and some serious creep factor, this movie is definitely worth a rent. Although I did bust up laughing at the very end when, after all this scary stuff happens, the movie title bursts onto the screen in red letters with loud music like something out of a Vincent Price movie. Still, a great time to be had and I highly recommend this one. If you, too, are looking for an excuse to sleep with the lights on, go out and get this one.

Kristy

A college student (Haley Bennett) hanging out at school alone during Thanksgiving break is terrorized by masked strangers and Ashley Greene (who doesn't feel the need to cover her pretty face with a mask).

The main girl, Justine (no her name is not Kristy), wanders around the big, empty campus and chats with the security guard on duty (the only other person who will be around for the whole weekend), then goes to the local convenience store to grab junk food. There she runs in Ashley Greene, who acts weird and creeps Justine out, then chases her down the road for no apparent reason. I won't give away the killers' motivations or the reason this movie is called Kristy, because it doesn't really matter. This is a suspenseful, fun little movie that feels kind of like an adult version of Home Alone. In fact, toward the end I kept yelling, "Go all Home Alone on their ass!" And then she did.

All in all, I really enjoyed this one and my only problem with it was the last act of the main character; it was another one of those horror movie moments where the main character does something they wouldn't normally do, not really in self defense but because they've had it. But it doesn't ruin the fun of the movie and I would definitely recommend this if you're in the mood for some suspense and not too much gore.

It Follows

Full disclosure, I am scared to death of people not really being there or of people I know suddenly not being who they are. So if these concepts scare you, you'll enjoy this as much as I did.

So this college student is dating a cute boy who she decides to sleep with for the first time in the back of his car even after he has an odd freak out at a movie theater but hey, he's pretty. He then chloroforms her and ties her to a chair and explains what he has just passed on to her. From this scene on I was hooked. Seriously creepy. And every time It shows up I wanted to hide my eyes but I also didn't want to miss out on being actually scared. If you've seen a horror movie in the last few years you know this is hard to come by.

The movie seems to be set in the 80s (old cars, lack of cell phones and computers) and yet one character has what seems to be a Kindle in a compact case so I was confused by this. I think the retro look is supposed to be a nod to 80s horror films. Now, I've read a lot of reviews that compare this to Halloween and other 80s classics, but I didn't really see this. It does have a classic look but it just didn't scream Halloween at me. Way too much of a slow burn with more of an insidious fear that builds up, instead of the instant terror of a guy in a mask breaking into your room and slashing about.

The tenaciously creepy atmosphere is what kept me watching, even when I knew it was going to keep me awake. "It" shows up somewhat randomly, and a couple of times It confused me because it looked so much like a couple of the actors. Then I remembered that It has the ability to look like someone you love. There were also times where it wasn't clear if the person walking by or looking at the main characters was It or just some random person passing by.

The ending is not groundbreaking or all that exciting, but it doesn't take away from the rest of the film. Watch it for the creepy It that follows the main characters and the building tension. Again, I was really creeped out and thus I enjoyed this movie thoroughly. If you're looking for something suspenseful and a little different, check it out. Maybe not by yourself like I did... but then again, the person you're with might not be who you think they are anyway so you might be better off alone.

7500

To begin with, I waited two years to see this movie. I was so excited for a real, scary ghost movie set on a plane that featured actors I at least recognized (I'm easily amused). But then, six months went by, then a year, and now two years and no release date. I checked online every once in a while to see if there was a new release date, but still nothing. Finally, after all this anticipation, I was finally able to watch it. I am going to break my own no-spoiler rule and this review will contain a big SPOILER because I am still angry at the way this turned out after the long wait. You've been warned.

Several people are on a flight to Japan, all with the usual obligatory personal problems that movie characters need to have in order to make things interesting. The most shady-looking guy on the plane starts to feel ill, coughing up blood and convulsing, and Ryan Kwanten is a paramedic who jumps in to try to save the guy but is unsuccessful. The dead guy had a mysterious box with him and was very nervous about the flight or what was in the box or... well, it doesn't really matter.

The problem with this movie is that it had potential, with somewhat good actors, an interesting premise (you see a lot of movies set on planes, but they're usually straight action or terrorist plots, never creepy or supernatural) so I thought yes, this will be different, this will be good. There's even a creepy "death doll" that has nothing to do with anything. Why they didn't build on that and make it the focus of the film, I will never understand. But just when I was really enjoying it and there was a definite creepy vibe and some mysterious things happening, it hits you with the twist.

SPOILER

So at some point the oxygen masks come down and the plane almost crashes, but it pulls out and everything is fine. Oh but wait no it isn't. Because (wait for it, you're gonna be shocked) everyone on the plane is dead and has been for half the movie. Gasp! So the fog and the hands reaching out to grab people from the toilet, not to mention the dead guy who mysteriously started moving again, had nothing to do with anything. This is a cop-out ending of the worst kind. It isn't even hinted at, and there's no way you could have guessed it. The previews make it look like a ghost-on-a-plane movie, and I expected to be creeped out and enjoy a nice little ghost movie. But no. Either the writers wrote this movie and it was filmed before every other horror movie with this same ending in the last ten years (hence it getting shelved once they realized their mistake) or they just didn't watch those movies at all and thought they were being really clever. Either way, after the long wait it was more than a let down. It makes the rest of the movie a complete waste of time. If the characters have been dead the whole time, then everything that happened didn't happen at all. I don't understand why this ending is so popular.

I was really enjoying this one until the last five minutes, so I can't say I don't recommend it at all. If you're not as easily annoyed by lazy writing as I am you will probably enjoy this. I just wish Hollywood would go back to putting some effort into movies and not just recycling.

The Prowler

I've been on an 80s slasher movie kick lately, and this is one I had never heard of. I'm not sure the title is really the best they could have done, but maybe I missed something. I've been having a hard time finding enough movies like this, where people are killed off one by one and the most fun part if figuring out who the killer is, but I enjoyed this one in spite of my desperation.

A masked killer in an Army uniform is bumping people off (with a pitchfork, randomly enough) and there's some back story about a murder back in the 40s. Good, suspenseful kill scenes (the suspense is my favorite part of these movies) and a hint as to who the killer is kept me watching despite the bad acting (it's an 80s horror flick, enough said). I will say, the way I figured out who the killer is was based on a cliché near the beginning of the movie, but this was before that was a cliché so you can't really blame them. It's always fun to watch these old movies and get upset at all the clichés and then realize oh, no that hadn't been done yet 47 times at that point in time.

If you're into 80s slasher flicks, you'll enjoy this one. Not the best I've seen, but pretty good. It's a little bit gory, not too slow, and it kept my attention. I know, not a glowing review but a fine way to spend a night in.

Saw II

And here we go... The second movie is centered on a group of people who are locked in a house, and who we learn are inhaling a nerve gas that is slowly killing them. One of the people in the house is the teenage son of Detective Matthews, who receives a personal invitation from Jigsaw and soon meets up with him at his lair. Jigsaw won't tell him where his son is until they sit down and have a conversation. Of course, with Jigsaw it's mostly babbling about how one should appreciate their life and none of it amounts to much while they watch the people in the house try to figure out how to get out of the game.

And as usual in these types of movies, they all start turning on each other. When in a stressful life or death situation people always turn against each other and it becomes about surviving longer than everyone else, whether that's the name of the game or not. This is human nature, or maybe horror movie writers just assume it is. I will discuss this more when we get to Saw V, where another group of strangers are thrown together in one of Jigsaw's games.

For now, though, I will say that I enjoyed the second movie. It has suspense, mystery (how do these people know each other, and why has Jigsaw chosen them), and a sense of urgency since they're all slowly dying from the nerve gas. The acting is decent, and the puzzles are fun and a bit less gory than the ones to follow in the next movies.

As for continuity, this one brings back Amanda from the first movie (Jigsaw's victim who survived) and she is the one who tries to help the others through the maze in the house (or does she?).

I would like to know, however, how one builds an impenetrable fortress in a house that obviously has windows - I kept seeing light coming through and wondering why they didn't try to just break out. But like I always say, it wouldn't be a movie if the characters were smart enough to escape in five minutes. I recommend this one as a fairly enjoyable horror flick, even on its own if you've never seen another movie in the series.

Saw

I was recently given the Blu-ray of the complete Saw series, so I decided to watch them all and see if they seem as ridiculous if you watch from beginning to end and try to catch everything that happened.

The short answer is, no. It doesn't seem any less ridiculous that new accomplices are added in each movie and are explained through scenes from previous movies that are re-shot from a different angle to show that said accomplice was involved all along (I'll explain this as we go). But this is my review of the first movie, and we will go from there.

The original Saw movie was more of a thriller and less of a straight horror movie than the movies that came after, when the writers realized that people would show up more for the gore than for a good mystery. Anyway, in this one we see Dr. Gordon (Cary Elwes, otherwise known as Sweet Wesley) and Adam (Leigh Whannell, who I learned after many viewings was the writer of the film) locked in a room and chained to pipes. There is a lot of the usual, this is your fault, you put me here, how do we get out of here bickering between the two until everything starts to develop and we see how Jigsaw is working for the first time. And then there's the twist in the last three minutes. But I don't believe in spoilers (ever since The Sixth Sense was ruined for me by a magazine article, I take care not to ruin movies for others) so I won't say much more.

This is a real crime thriller and mystery, an honest film about chasing a serial killer who has a unique signature. But we all know what happens after this one - or at least you will after you read my next reviews. But the point is, if you only watched this Saw movie, you would get a decent thriller with a twist ending and some OK acting (wish I could say the same for the rest of the movies). 

In short, whether you like the rest of the Saw movies or not, this one is different from the rest and I do recommend it.

Come Back To Me

Oh, my goodness. That is exactly what I said when this movie ended. I can't say a lot about it without spoiling things, so I will give you the basic story and my opinion and let you discover the rest for yourself.

It starts a little slow, with a woman named Sarah who was recently in a car accident and is now having "night terrors" after which she wakes up gasping for air and has no memory of what she dreamt or what may have happened while she was out. Her husband works nights at a Las Vegas casino, so of course she's always alone when this happens. And then there's the creepy young man who just moved in across the street...

Now, I had my theories as to what was going on, but every one of them was wrong. You probably won't be able to guess, try as you might. Like I said, I don't want to say too much, but this is a well-done mystery and thriller, and is entertaining from beginning to end. I would definitely recommend.

And if, like me, you end up with your mouth hanging open and your head shaking at the end of this, you'll see why I'm recommending it and why I didn't say too much. Just when you think it's over, it hits you with once last twist that I did not see coming.

Now sit back and enjoy!

Dark Circles

Ah, the first few months with a new baby. So much fun. So exciting. So... exhausting. A couple moves out to the country with their newborn son and are met with constant hammering next door and a creepy woman who just appears at random times, all while trying to survive their son's babyhood and all the sleepless nights that go with it. There's a creepy doll (I'm amazed I ever played with dolls, they creep me out so much now), a mysterious woman, and the usual weird happenings you find in scary movies. The opening scene was my favorite part; it was creepy, scary and anxiety-inducing. The perfect beginning to a horror movie. Too many horror movies start out slow and don't build to much. This one starts off scary and disorienting, then builds up the story and relationships, then gets to the scary stuff again. Some say the ending is a twist, but I'm not sure that qualifies as a twist. It's more of an explanation, which so few horror movies have these days. I was actually a little scared, which is hard to come by these days, and was creeped out for the rest of the night, so it did its job. Recommended!

Evil Dead (2013)

Ok... well, to start with: I can't remember if I've ever seen the original Evil Dead all the way through. This particular film series is one that I watched on TV at 3 a.m. when I was a teenager and don't remember a lot about. I can say with confidence, though, that this new one is great. So much blood! There are some cringe-worthy and somewhat disgusting moments (a word of warning to the squeamish) and some creepy scenes that almost had me freaked out (and we all know that nothing scares me anymore, what with the years of horror film viewing having had the usual desensitizing effect on me). I wasn't expecting much, since I didn't remember much about the original and am not a big fan of demonic-possession films, but this one is done right (there's a reason it's a classic). I was sucked in and held on until the end, and the final blood-soaked (literally) showdown was one of the best I've seen recently. Possible spoiler: if you stick around past the credits you get to see Ash (Bruce Campbell) for all of three seconds. It's worth it though, I suppose. On a side note, Bruce Campbell, Tony Todd, and Robert Englund are all in the same club: they make a living doing cameo appearances in horror films, strictly for the "Hey it's Bruce Campbell/Tony Todd/Robert Englund" effect. I have heard grumbles that there is no Ash character in this one, but I can understand why they went with new characters: who would they have found to play the new Ash, since Bruce Campbell is considerably older than the characters in this film are? And anyone new would have just disappointed the die-hard fans, no matter how good they were.

So is it as good as the original? Maybe, maybe not, but I don't think that's the point. I think you can enjoy both films equally, the original for the nostalgia and every reason you loved it when you first saw it, and this new one because it does everything right. See it! It's a fun ride, regardless of how you feel about the idea of remaking cult classics.

Autopsy (2008)

This movie feels like an episode of The Twilight Zone at times, but it has one of the best lines I've heard in a horror film lately. One guy asks for some antibiotics because a guy bled in his mouth (after an automobile accident) and the creepy nurse guy says, "Did you ask him to?" Awesome.

Oh, and Robert Patrick is in it. Yes, the T-1000. Also awesome.

This is, all in all, a sufficiently creepy little hospital horror movie. Weird things happen, the workers at the hospital are suspicious characters that make you wonder what's going on even as you realize that you don't want to know, and the mystery of exactly what the heck is going on is enough to keep you watching. There are a lot of horror movies set in hospitals, but most of them are straight ghost stories; this one is different and has a bit of mystery (which I think most horror movies could use more of, instead of just getting in your face with obvious situations and tired endings that you see coming a mile away). And one final tip? If you're taken to a hospital in the middle of the night and your friends start disappearing, you should run. Especially if you see the T-1000.

The Collection

Best beginning of any movie I've seen lately. I literally watched it with my mouth hanging open. It reminded me of the beginning scene of Ghost Ship, which was disturbing and fascinating at the same time, but this is more real. Then the movie gets going and doesn't stop. I liked the first movie, The Collector, but I was distracted by how the main character, Arkin, kept doing everything wrong. And the other characters, too; if they had just listened to Arkin they would've made it out. In this one, Arkin is trying to save a rich man's daughter who is the latest addition to the collection of the mad man, because Arkin is the only one who knows where the guy is and how he operates. He makes better decisions this time around, and the other players are really good, unlike the family from the first movie. There were moments where I was yelling at the screen; how does the guy with the big gun still end up dead, and did they just keep forgetting that every room is booby-trapped? But these are minor points, and again, necessary to keep the movie going. Lee Tergesen (an actor I love, but no one has heard of) is great as the kidnapped girl's guardian, and the girl herself pulls through at the end and didn't annoy me by screaming the whole time. I was literally tense with anticipation at what would happen next, and I wanted to watch it again immediately after it ended.That, for me at least, makes this one of the best horror movies of last year. Just trust me... see this one.

Smiley

OK, so there's a serial killer who appears online in anonymous chat rooms, a la Bloody Mary, and kills people after they type in "I did it for the lulz" three times. A fragile college student named Ashley who has some past mental problems (and whose mother just died) gets mixed up in this urban legend after hearing about it at a party and then trying it out herself. Of course, she types in the phrase three times and witnesses a poor, hapless stranger being violently dispatched by Smiley, a killer who cut out his eyes and sewed a smile into his own face. Now, is Smiley a real, supernatural being who is able to appear like Bloody Mary, or is Ashley just crazy?

I personally could do without the past mental health history and the possibility that it is all just one of her psychotic fantasies, but that adds doubt and keeps you guessing, so I guess it's necessary. But if you overlook the tired plot of is-she-crazy, this is a good horror film. I enjoyed the suspense, and it was perfect for watching on a rainy afternoon. So check this one out if you want a good horror flick with a modern twist.